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| I was noticing today maybe its just me but something just...isn't right at the moment. I can't put my finger on it but something is very much a miss somehow. I talked to a few people today and they seemed to have shit dropped on them out of nowhere...This doesn't bode well at all, looks like it's time to hunker down for another assault again
More over on myspace I suppose
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| Ever get the feeling your being replaced? Like you were just some temporary thing, something that was just to hold over till something else comes along? Or perhaps a growing distance seems to be increasing as time goes on and your not sure whether you should give the person space or confront them directly.
I'm not sure what I've done but it sure as hell feels like I am being sort of exiled for things I have no idea I've done. I've gone in some people's lives to a trusted friend to some sort of plague. Something they avoid, or something they have no time for, I'm not too sure. I know my personality is not the best and some spats are bound to happen, it's just the way of life. Yet still some of these things were in my control and I just let them go, bloody fool for it too.
I knew I shouldn't of done something I did and now I'm paying for it, I learned why I don't do some of the things I do and that it was a bad idea as its costing the friendship of those around me I consider important and I am really kicking myself
I've also been wondering lately why I even bother trying, why do I try to be social, it seems anymore that it just bites me in the ass and I get the shit kicked out of me.I try and try and try and all that happens is somehow I hurt those that are important to me and I just get hurt.
I feel like I'm serving a sentance for something I am not even sure what I did.
I really wish I had friends that wouldn't leave me and I know care about me...
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| People never cease to amaze me, one second they'll be the nicest person but they wont tell you what they think about you. I've learned alot of people are like this lately. This normally wouldn't bug me but at the same time these are people who will probably want to use things i have but hate me. Or maybe they won't but I'll find out in time and if that's the case well then...i'll make sure they know there friendship and company are no longer required by me.
And by the way this isn't aimed at people i know per se, needless to say if you think i'm an ass then you'll want to pay attention to the blog. Otherwise well ignore it.
Good moring
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| Not much is going on, or to be honest I haven't thought of anything to write, if I do then stay tunned for a much better blog. This is just to point out to all 2 of you who read this I still post here. Soupy Twist
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| It's a new year, I for one didn't get blitzed or even go out. But that's just me, I'm like the Grinch of the new years eve thing. For various reasons I don't feel like going into.
What I do believe though is yes it is a new year, I may not ring it in with a bang but I do look forward to it, you don't know what is going to happen and you will learn lessons, you'll get lucky, and for some people the end of the year they get pissed just to forget the old year.
Last year wasn't bad at all to be honest, granted I dated a blonde who was so inept at times I now look back thinking of her as Maris from fraiser. But at the same time, I got semi published I found people I can hang with and people I can trust. In the grand scheme of things It was a rather good year.
This year I got things I wanna accomplish and who knows maybe I will. It could be year of the slacker ya never really know...
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eh maybe next year
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